New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
