Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
