my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
