Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We're too hungover to prance.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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