I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
