drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
did you just send me my own nude
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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