: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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