GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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