if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
