I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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