Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
