quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
