Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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