omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize