Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
