so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We were destined to go to rehab together
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
