omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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