she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
COCAINE IS GR8
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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