Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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