My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
