i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
