Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
