i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
