she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
