Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
