Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
