Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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