come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
