I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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