I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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