yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
