to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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