I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
