FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
