After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize