i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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