3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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