He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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