just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
