In the future we'll all be gay
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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