is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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