ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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