Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
