loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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