Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The Olympian is in my bed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
