Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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