When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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