We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
