nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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