how can u be prego again
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
