My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
