well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My penis needs a shock collar
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
