you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
