yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize