I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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