this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
