just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
