you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
