worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
