is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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