I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
