How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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